Top ten slogans for buttons to be worn by librarians:

10. Is that a barcode reader in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

9. I'm a cataloger. Please speak clearly and spell proper nouns.

8. Where's your title page, godammit?

7. I read AACR2 in bed...what do you do in bed?

6. "Cybrarian" doesn't quite cover it...I'm a WEB GODDESS.

5. Yes, I'm a librarian. No, I can't clear your overdue fines for you.

4. Stranger on plane: "You're a librarian? Oh--I have some overdue books." Librarian: "Yes...I know."

3. Please, please, don't ask me for any more books about dinosaurs.

2. Everything you've heard about librarians is true, except the part about wearing glasses and buns and being boring.

1. The American Library Association conference: 14,000 librarians in search of alcohol, sex, and cheap reference materials.