Bloom County: Binkley's anxiety closet
Description
Binkley is in bed, but not asleep. The snorklewacker is bouncing on his bed in a veritable tizzy of anxiety-producing euphoria.
"Wake up, Binkley! Wake up! Wake up!!"
Binkley sits up, clutching the blankets to his chin, as the snorklewacker continues, "Oh, we have wonderful anxiety of yours tonight, Binkley! Hoo boy, it's really the pits!!"
The snorklewacker waves something in front of Binkley's bleary eyes, explaining, "Look! look what I found in the back of the closet, Binkley! A Dr. Seuss book! "Green Eggs and Ham!"... Remember it? Now, wait while I go fetch Mrs. McGreevy!"
Binkley sits, holding the book, and tries to remember... 'Mrs. McGreevy? Why, she's the... the...'
THWONK!! A battle-axe embeds itself in the wall above Binkley's head.
"...librarian!!" Binkley finishes the thought and screams the word as a little old lady, carrying a bloodstained axe, smiles at him and says, "119 weeks overdue, dear..."
Mother Goose and Grimm: Conan the Librarian
Description Ham (the pig) visibly gathers his courage to return a book to the heavily-muscled, lantern-jawed, headbanded man behind the Overdue Books desk. There is no conversation; the caption says it all: "Conan the Librarian".
Zits: Evaluation of books
Description
Jeremy and Hector are in the library, discussing a book they've found.
Jeremy: I hate it when these old fogies write advice books for teenagers.
Hector: "Teen Talk"... Spare me!
J: Look at this guy's picture! He must be at least thirty!
H: "Chapter 1. Parents are People, Too"
J: What does he have to say that could possibly interest our generation?
H: "Chapter 5. Ten Things that Turn Girls On."
In the final frame, both boys are avidly reading the book
Speed Bump: Library vs. Bookstore Description In a room full of people using computers, a man stands in front of a desk. The woman behinds the desk interrupts her computer work to explain, "Sir, this is a library. If you want a book, go to a bookstore..."
Dilbert: Ask the librarian
Description
Dilbert is talking into the telephone. "Hello, is the the library reference desk?"
"Yes," the voice on the other end replies.
"What's the average running speed of the Tazmanian Boola-boola dog?"
"8.3 miles per hour."
Dilbert stares at the phone and says, "I can't believe she knew that."
The voice continues, "And you have something stuck in your teeth."
Tom the Dancing Bug: "Library System Terrorizes Publishing Industry" Description Caption: A book locating/lending phenomenon known as the "Dewey Decimal System" - enabling users to get access to copyrighted text material for free - has sent shockwaves through a panicked publishing industry.
Drawing: A man identified as Publishers Spokesman Brent Aullett asking, "Why would anyone pay for a book once it's accessible for free?!" as, in the background, people search a card catalog, and browse the stacks of a library. Caption: The plan is as complex as it is diabolically clever. A "library" buys books, users find them through Dewey's classification system, and borrow them for free!
Drawing: A diagram of the interrelationships between a publishing company, a book, a library, a card catalog, a user, a borrower's card, and an easy chair. Caption: The inventor of the system is Melvil Dewey, a plucky 149-year-old who's been dead for 69 years, so his business plan is unclear.
Drawing: A man, bespectacled, balding, and bearded. Caption: But he's got readers giddily borrowing books, to be consumed at leisure, and free of charge!
Drawing: Two people on a porch saying, "Screw Updike! I'm beating the system!" and "Power to the people!" Caption: Established writers like Tom Clancy have stopped producing their output.
Drawing: A man on a lounger saying, "What's that you say? Libraries? For free?! Denise, get me Ovitz! I'm packing it in!" as he tosses his laptop computer into the pool. Caption: Young writers have also given up. Brad McClatchen has ceased work on his collection of poems entitled "Of an Oleander, Recriminate."
Drawing: Young goateed man in front of a typewriter saying, "Obviously, my dream of making millions through poetry is dust. I'm calling my brother about that tire sales job." Caption: Publishers of course are suing, but they are not optimistic.
Drawing: Brent Aullett pointing and saying, "Mark my words: this "Dewey Decimal System" will be the death of literature!" Caption: Next: Shower-Singing Threatens Music Industry!
Drawing: Suds-covered naked man singing, "I wanna know what love is..." as people in suits gather outside the shower door |
