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Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
Because she was in the non-friction section.

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Clothes on.
Clothes on who?
The Library's clothes on Thanksgiving,
but we'll be open again on Friday!

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Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?
He wanted to learn how to draw blood. 

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Librarian: Knock knock.
Student: Who's there?
Librarian: Winnie.
Student: Winnie who?
Librarian: Winnie you going to bring back
that overdue book, hmm?

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Q. Why was the T-Rex afraid to go to the library?
A: Because her books were 60 million years overdue. 

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Q. Why is that library book you're trying to find always in the last place you look?

A. Because once you find it, you stop looking. 

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Q. Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?
A. That way he always nose where he stopped reading. 

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Q. How can you tell if an elephant checked out a library book before you did?
A. When you open it, peanut shells fall out. 

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Q. Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books?
A. Because she goes through them too quickly.

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Q. Why didn't the skeleton come back to the library with an overdue book?
A. He was too gutless.

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Q. Why don't elephants ever pay overdue fines?
A. They always bring their books back on time. An elephant never forgets! 

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Q. What did the detective do when he didn't believe the librarian's story?
A. He booked her! 

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Q. Do you know how many librarians it takes to screw in a light bulb?
A. No, but I know where you can look it up! 

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Q. What king of medieval England was famous because he spent so many nights at his Round Table writing books?
A. King Author! 

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Q. What reference book should you put on your head to keep off the sun and rain, no matter where you go in the world?
A. A hat-las. (If you like, you can call it your "map cap.") 

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Q. What reference book should you use when you forget your shovel?
A. The dig-tionary.

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Librarian: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Librarian: Winnie Thupp.
Kid: Winnie Thupp who?
Librarian: He's in the juvenile fiction, and so is Piglet!

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Q. When a goose goes to the library, what books does she look for?
A. Peoplebumps books! 

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Q. If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won't you find any books in
Prague's public library?
A. They're all "Czech"ed out!

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Part 1: Q. What building has the most stories?
A. The library, of course!

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Part 2: Q. If a student goes to a seven-story library
and checks out seven books, how many are left?
A. None. The library had only seven stories! 

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Q. Where does a librarian sleep?
A. Between the covers. 

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Q. When a librarian goes fishing, what goes on her hook?
A. A bookworm, of course.

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Q. What does a librarian eat dinner from?
A. A bookplate. 

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Jim said, "My dog tried to eat my library book."
"What did you do?" asked the librarian.
"I took the words right out of his mouth."

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Q. What does the skeleton do when she goes to the library?
A. She likes to "bone up" on her favorite subject
(and we're not ribbing you, either).

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Q. What does the Mummy do when he goes to the library?
A. He gets all wrapped up in a good book.